How to Trust Yourself After Abuse

 


How to Trust Yourself After Abuse

One of the hardest parts of healing after abuse is not trusting anyone — including yourself.

You start second-guessing every decision.
You overthink every word.
You fear your intuition because it once led you to danger.

But here’s the truth — your intuition didn’t fail you. Your safety was overridden by survival.

1. Why You Stopped Trusting Yourself

Abuse trains you to question your own perception.
You get blamed for things you didn’t do, told that what you saw or heard didn’t happen, and forced to apologize for existing.

This constant gaslighting rewires your nervous system.
Your body starts asking, “Can I trust what I feel?”
Your mind starts answering, “No. It’s safer to doubt.”

2. Signs You’ve Lost Self-Trust

  • You ask everyone else for advice before making a decision.

  • You replay conversations in your head, wondering if you were “too much.”

  • You panic when someone disagrees with you.

  • You apologize even when you did nothing wrong.

These aren’t flaws. They’re symptoms of betrayal trauma.

3. How to Rebuild Self-Trust

Start small.
Your brain can’t trust leaps yet — it needs microproof.

a. Listen to your body
When you’re around someone, do you feel calm or tense?
Trust the answer — even if you can’t explain it logically.

b. Keep one promise to yourself daily
Drink that glass of water. Take that walk. Write that journal note.
Every kept promise tells your brain, “I mean what I say.”

c. Track your accurate instincts
Write down moments when your gut was right.
You’ll start seeing a pattern: Your intuition works. It always has.

4. What Trusting Yourself Feels Like Again

It doesn’t feel like confidence.
It feels like peace.

You don’t need to overexplain.
You don’t need ten opinions.
You can walk away from what feels wrong — even without proof.

That’s what safety inside your body feels like.

5. Remember

You were trained to survive.
Now it’s time to remember how to believe yourself.

The voice you silenced to keep peace is the same voice that will rebuild your peace.


Dr Dhivya Pratheepa 

Helping women attract true love 

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