The Person Who Hurt You Can’t Heal You

Years since he cheated.
Years since the false promises.
Years since he disappeared without giving her a single answer.



When she’s at work?
No problem, her mind is busy.

But the moment she’s free…
Walking from the second floor to the third…
Washing dishes…
Waiting for coffee…

He’s there.

Not in person.
In her head.

She replays the betrayal.
She questions  Why did he do this? What did I miss?
Sometimes she even imagines the future 
He comes back, says all the right things,
And she finally rejects him.

It feels satisfying for a second.
But it’s not real.

Why This Happens

Your brain hates loose ends.
When a relationship ends without closure, your mind treats it like an unfinished puzzle.

And here’s the catch 
It’s not just about him anymore.

Your nervous system got hooked on the emotional spike he created:
Anger. Betrayal. Longing.
Strong, intense emotions.

Now, every time you’re not fully focused, your brain searches for that spike again.
Not because you want pain 
But because it’s familiar.

That’s why the thoughts rush in when you’re idle.

How to Close the Loop (Without Him)

Because here’s the truth:
The person who broke you will not be the one who heals you.
Closure is not given.
It’s taken.



Step 1 — Accept the Reality
Stop waiting for him to “make it right.”
Every day you wait for his apology, you keep him in control of your peace.

Step 2 — Write the Final Chapter Yourself
Write a raw, unfiltered letter to him  the one you’ve always wanted to send.
Say everything.
Don’t hold back.
Then burn it, tear it, or drown it in water.
Physically ending it tells your brain: This story is over.

Step 3 — Pull Down the Illusion
Make a list of every fact that proves who he really was, not who you imagined.
Read it every time the fantasy “reunion” scene plays in your head.

Step 4 — Close It in the Body
When the thought appears, put a hand on your chest and say,
“It’s over. I’m safe now.”
Breathe out twice as long as you breathe in.
This signals to your body that the danger and the story are done.

Step 5 — Replace the Spike
Your brain will look for emotional intensity.
Give it something better: movement, music, learning, novelty.
Make your new “default” a habit that builds you instead of breaking you.

You don’t have to wait for him to hand you closure.
You can take it back today.

💬 If you’re stuck in this loop and you want to retrain your brain to stop feeding the obsession, WhatsApp me at 9443088596.

With warmth,
Dr. Dhivya Pratheepa
Somatic Trauma-Informed Abuse Recovery Coach

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