If One "No" Makes Them Leave

 If One "No" Makes Them Leave—It Was Never Real

You say no. You honor yourself. And suddenly—poof—they disappear.

It’s not fair.
It’s not kind.
And it’s not what you would’ve done if the roles were reversed.

But here’s the truth:
If a single boundary erases the entire relationship…
It wasn’t a relationship. It was a transaction.
And your "yes" was the currency.

You didn’t lose them.
You finally saw them.

Yes, it hurts. Because you loved with sincerity.
But don’t you dare let that harden your heart.

You are not "too much."
You are not "too sensitive."
You are not "too giving."
You’re just walking through life with your heart switched ON—and that’s rare. Powerful. Precious.

It doesn’t need to be shut down.
It needs to be protected.

Rewrite the Narrative

❌ "If I say no, people leave."
✅ "If I say no, the right people stay—and the wrong ones reveal themselves."

What Happens When You Chase Them?

1. You Over Explain

You call. You text. You twist yourself into knots trying to "clear the air," hoping they’ll understand and things will go "back to normal."

But here’s the hard truth:
If they withdrew over a boundary, more words won’t change their mind.
They might nod. Smile. Act cool.
But internally, they’ve learned: "She needs this more than I need to respect it."

2. You Demand an Explanation

You ask why. You crave closure.

If they’re emotionally mature, you might get it.
But if they left because they couldn’t handle your needs?
They’ll deflect. Blame you. Give vague answers.
And you’ll walk away more confused than before.

3. You Pretend Nothing Happened

You smile. You small-talk. You ignore the elephant in the room to "keep the peace."

But the message they receive?
"There are no consequences for treating her poorly."
So they’ll do it again—softer or sharper, but always with your compliance.


What to Do Instead

Stop reaching out.
Don’t explain. Don’t chase. Don’t feed the connection.

Let them respond to your absence.

  • If they’re immature, they’ll call you "cold" or "dramatic." (That’s just ego protesting the loss of your energy.)

  • If they’re self-aware, they might return with accountability. (But that’s rare.)

Here’s the litmus test:
Someone who values you won’t punish you for having boundaries.


Dr Dhivya Pratheepa


Somatic trauma Informed coach















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