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Showing posts from September, 2025

Why Some People Never Open Up (Even When You Try Everything)

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  The Frustration You Know Too Well You explain. You guide. You even repeat yourself. But some people — your parent, your child, even your friends, colleagues keep acting like they already know everything. They don’t open up. They don’t let you in. And you’re left wondering: “Why don’t they get it?” The Real Reason It’s not that they don’t hear you. It’s that their nervous system doesn’t feel safe enough to soften. Here’s what’s really happening: Defensiveness as Armor Saying “I know” is easier than saying “I’m scared” or “I don’t understand.” It’s a shield against vulnerability. Fear of Exposure If they admit they don’t know, they feel weak, judged, or dependent. For many, that feels unbearable. Testing the Space Clients especially don’t open up right away. They’re silently asking: “Can I trust this person? Will they hold me without judging?” What Not to Do The mistake we all make is trying to argue with their wall. We push harder. We explain...

Why You Keep Sharing Your Problems With Everyone (And Still Feel Unseen)

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  The Pattern You Already Know A serious problem shows up. You try to manage it yourself. It gets too heavy. So you share it with your brother. Still feels unresolved. You tell your parents. They don’t get it. You go to your friends. They also don’t see it the way you do. Now you’re left feeling drained, misunderstood, and wondering: “Why do I keep doing this?” The Real Reason This isn’t about weakness. It’s about survival wiring. As children, many of us were conditioned to believe: “If someone else sees what I see, I’m safe. If they don’t, I’m in danger.” That’s why when something serious happens, your nervous system pushes you to spread it out to others. It’s not about solutions. It’s about resonance. You want someone to mirror back: “Yes, I see it. Yes, you’re right to feel this way.” The Problem With This Cycle Most people can’t give you that resonance. Parents filter it through control. Siblings try to fix. Friends try to comfort or distract. ...

Why Silence Feels Like Punishment (And What’s Really Going On)

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  Boundaries and Nervous Systems Setting boundaries with parents feels like it should bring relief. You finally say, “Don’t interfere in my choices.” They don’t argue, they don’t shout, they just go silent. Technically, that’s them respecting the boundary. So why do you still feel disturbed, guilty, even unsafe? The answer lies in your nervous system.