Where do his sexual needs go, if not to you?

 If he’s not giving you sex or intimacy…



You might wonder — does he not have needs?

Of course he does.
The narcissist is still a human being.
Biologically, he has needs.

But with narcissists, sex isn’t about connection.
It’s not about closeness.
It’s not about love.

It’s about control.
It’s about ego.
It’s about supply.
It’s about power.

Inside the relationship, withholding sex becomes their weapon.

The silent message?
Look how desperate you are.
I control when and how you get anything.

But their needs don’t disappear.

They just redirect it.

Cheating.
Porn.
Fantasy.
Mind games.

When a narcissist seeks sex outside, it’s rarely about sex.

It’s about attention.
Admiration.
The thrill of being wanted.
The game of seduction.
The feeling of power.

Outside, everything is fresh.
No demands.
No emotional accountability.
Just a pure ego hit.

Look how desirable I am.
I can still pull people.
I’m special.

The side affair becomes their mirror.
It shows them only their grandiosity.

But inside the relationship?
Sex would require intimacy.

Vulnerability.
Accountability.

That terrifies them.

So they run outside for supplies.
And deny you inside the relationship.

It’s not about you.
It’s all ego management.

But you are the one left thinking…

He’s not interested in me.
But he has no problem flirting with others.
Or watching porn.
Is it me?
Am I not attractive enough?

That’s where the real damage happens.

If you want to know how this plays out further — wait for my next blog. I’ll talk about it there.

💬 If this touched something inside you, you can WhatsApp me at 9443088596. We can gently explore this together.


With warmth,
Dr. Dhivya Pratheepa
Somatic Trauma-Informed Abuse Recovery Coach

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