Your need for intimacy is normal

 

Why doesn’t my husband want me?" — the silent question thousands of women are googling at 2AM


One of my clients sat across from me, whispering through tears, “Why does he avoid me? Is it me?”
What she was describing is something many women experience but almost no one talks about.

Let’s talk about it.


No. Sex is not just about physical release for men.
That’s a huge myth.

Yes — men do feel the biological urge.
Yes — sometimes it feels urgent.
That’s normal.

But here’s what most people miss.
Men also crave emotional connection.
They want to feel desired.
They want to feel wanted.
They want to feel powerful.

It’s not “men are physical, women are emotional.”
That’s incomplete.
Both need both.

But narcissistic men?

It’s different.

For them, sex is not about connection.
It’s not about closeness.
It’s not about love.

Sex is about ego.
Sex is about control.


It’s how they get what they want.
Attention.
Admiration.
The thrill of being desired.
The feeling of being in control.

So sex becomes a weapon.

They don’t give you the sex you want.

They don’t give you the intimacy you need.

When you ask for it, when you reach out —
They don’t argue.
They don’t fight.
They just shut down.


And when you do something they don’t like?
They withhold it.
It becomes the perfect silent punishment.

No shouting.
No explanation.
Just rejection.

Over time, you start to wonder…
Am I good enough?
Am I broken?
Do I even deserve intimacy?

You see how twisted this gets?

Your needs are normal.

Their needs are different.
Two incompatible people coming together — it makes things worse.

You are not broken.
You are not the problem.

Your desire for intimacy is human.
It’s not too much.
It’s not wrong.

And you don’t have to beg for it.


If they have physical needs, but they’re not showing intimacy here… where do they get it?
If you want to know more about this, wait for my next newsletter. I’ll talk about it there.


If you’re ready to explore this more, I’m here.
💬 WhatsApp me at 9443088596 if you’d like to talk.

With warmth,
Dr. Dhivya Pratheepa
Somatic Trauma-Informed Abuse Recovery Coach

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